Paging Captain Obvious...

...I have a message for you from "No Shit, Sherlock".

Moderately attractive musical starlet Lily Allen has reportedly closed her Twitter blog after she was bombarded with abuse from fans who objected to her opposition to illegal online file sharing. Apparently many of them took umbrage at someone asking them not to steal her music and accused her of "only wanting to stop downloads because it would hit her financially."

No shit.

Attention idiot file sharers (aka "criminals") - if everyone traded music for free, there would be no money to pay the artists. No money to pay artists means no artists, and no artists means no music. Morons.

It's all very well for people like Radiohead to say "yeah, you can have our album for free because we don't care about money" because they already have millions of pounds from earlier sales. Smaller bands will say the same thing, until they realise that they're not actually making any money, at which point they will either be fired by their music label (assuming they got signed in the first place) or they will suddenly stop saying it.

You may think that you have some kind of right to take someone's work for free, but you really don't. Established artists may not be harmed financially because you're stealing their albums, but newer up and coming bands certainly will. Imagine a really great band trying to get themselves established, but not selling any records because you're stealing their album. To a record label, that says "you're shit, get out", so the band disappears. I know exactly what you're going to say next, something along the lines of "evil corporate fat-cats at the record labels", which of course is utter shit. Record labels don't sign bands out of the goodness of their hearts, they do it for money. Likewise, bands don't go professional for a bit of fun, they do it to make a living. If you steal their music, you're stopping them from doing so.

So why don't you just fuck off, stop complaining, and pay the £9 it costs to buy a fucking album rather than stealing it and then whinging when people call you on it.

Cunts.

UPDATE:

By popular demand (ie, because I wanted to) I've added a couple of photos of the lovely Miss Allen.

















































She's a real cutie isn't she?

Priorities, people!

The BBC shows where its loyalties lie yet again this morning with this front page (Click to enlarge):




















Yes, the top story is the Chancellor of the Exchequer urging the Labour Party to "fight". Less important than that, according to the BBC, are stories about Iran testing short-range ballistic missiles and schools wasting millions of pounds of taxpayers' money.

That's right, bury two stories that make the Govermnent look bad underneath a story designed to get Labour supporters rallying behind the Government.

Fuck off, BBC...

Erm, what?

As I was leaving the flat yesterday for another day working as part of the military industrial complex, I noticed the bin men emptying the recycling bins, as they do every couple of weeks. Nothing unusual in this, except that for some reason they didn't take the cardboard bin this time, only the glass.

I asked why.

"The bin is too full. You're going to have to put some of that cardboard into the regular bin before we can recycle the rest."

Yes, that's right, despite all the calls to "go green", the residents here are apparently recycling too much cardboard.

No, I don't understand this fucking council jobsworth's logic either...

Obama Loves Terrorists

From the Boston Herald:

Convicted shoe bomber Richard C. Reid claimed in a handwritten federal lawsuit in Colorado that the government violated his First Amendment rights by restricting his access to books, TV, phone calls, letters and religious activities. In June, the Department of Justice - without explanation - lifted those restrictions.

The explanation is simple. The Obama Administration loves terrorists.

Below are some of the limits placed on Reid, according to his 2007 lawsuit, in which he claimed: “There is no sound reason or justification” for the restrictions.

Denied timely access to news articles and TV or radio news stations. Access limited to newspapers that were one month old, sometimes with articles missing.

To quote Bruce from No Looking Backwards: "You tried to BLOW UP AN AIRPLANE FULL OF PEOPLE!"

Denied access to the TV or the newspaper? Awww, say it isn't so? The poor man, how dare the eeeeeeevil nasty prison people limit his access to TV! All he did was try to end the lives of a couple of hundred people. We should be ashamed for treating him so badly.

Obama makes Jimmy Carter look competent...

Hat tip to Bruce for the story.

Why France is a shithole...

France has an extremely fragile economy and massive youth unemployment. The reason for this is simple, because they're a bunch of socialist cretins.

The latest in a long line of stupid economy-destroying "ideas" to come from the French Government is a tax on financial transactions, which President Sarkozy believes will help crack down on those eeeeeevil risk-taking bankers and help keep the economies of the world afloat.

Yeah, because nothing stimulates economic activity like more taxes. Sheesh, how fucking stupid are these people? Seriously, people like Gordon Brown and Nikolas Sarkozy are supposed to be "world leaders" yet they apparently have the intelligence of mashed potato.

Here's a wild and crazy idea, a real out-there suggestion. How about the Government stops messing with the economy, stops wasting our tax money on useless programmes, stops borrowing money it can't afford and stops printing more money when the loans run dry? How about they let the economy do its thing without meddling with it?

Free market economics works, guys, it's what won the Cold War, it's what made Britain great and it's what made the United States great. Leave it alone.

General Notice

I'd just like to make an announcement. I am NOT having an affair with my friend Larissa.

Some people seem to think that because we go for coffee every Wednesday evening after work and that we sometimes hang out together in an evening, we must be having sex. This is not the case. Contrary to the belief among some members of the population, it is possible for a man and a woman to be good friends without the need to have sex with each other, and this is the case with Larissa and I.

I have been dating my girlfriend for six years and I love her more than anything else on this Earth. There is no way in hell that I would even consider cheating on her. Ever. Can we stop with the fucking rumours now?

Random Rants

A few random thoughts from the past few days:

Pricks racing superbikes up and down the main road at 70+ mph at night wearing just shorts and a t-shirt. You may think you look cool, but I've seen what you will look like when you come off that thing at those sorts of speeds and trust me, the helmet is not going to stop the paramedics from having to saw what is left of your limbs off at the side of the road. Of course, that assumes you survive an unprotected fall at those sorts of speeds - I suspect that having all of your skin removed will probably kill you quite quickly.

Drug dealers in nightclub toilets - No I do not want to buy any Es, nor do I want to buy any cocaine. Unlike the people you usually deal with, I am more than capable of enjoying a night out without consuming illegal drugs. While I'm on the subject, I do not have any problems getting an erection, so I do not need any fucking viagra either! Jesus, some of these guys aren't so much drug-dealers and walking fucking pharmacies!

Builders bum is unattractive wherever it is seen, whether it is on builders or on women in their mid-40s with dress sizes in a similar numerical region. Fatties please take note.

Note to fat men - if you have a bit of a beer gut that overhands the waistline of your trousers, please buy t-shirts that cover it. The last thing I want to see while I'm enjoying my lunch is six inches of flab protruding from the bottom of your t-shirt, so sort it out!

While I'm on the subject of fatties of both genders, the mobility assistance motorised trollies at Asda are for disabled people, not fatties who are too lazy to walk around the fucking supermarket! Yes, I saw you walking perfectly fine from your car to the supermarket as I was getting my trolley, so I know you don't have any problem walking.

I saw a group of girls walking through town today wearing tight tops, short shorts, make-up and high heels, who were getting lots of approving looks from passing men, at least until said men realised the big problem. That big problem was that they were about fucking 12! Here's a novel and innovative idea for young girls and their (seemingly blind and/or non-existent) parents - why don't you try NOT dressing like a prostitute?

On the same subject - the Government would have us believe that all the men who took a glance are rabid paedos who would abduct and rape these innocent little flowers at the first opportunity. The reality is that the men aren't paedos, they're merely responding to a group of young ladies dressed like whores and their response is the exact one that those clothes are designed to produce.

I have one more, but that is for a separate post...

The definition of stupid...

Using a cigarette lighter to check how much petrol you're putting in a petrol can.

Words have not yet been created to describle stupidity of that level. Jeez...

Dear Apple 3...

What the FUCK are you doing with iTunes now?

I've just downloaded iTunes 9.0, which promised to address performance issues with the earlier versions. It addressed them alright, and made them fucking WORSE!

First it was iTunes objecting to me scrolling down webpages and then it was iTunes objecting to me reading a webpage while it runs in the background. Now iTunes starts stuttering and complaining if I have it running in the background and have the audacity to do anything else on my PC, even if that is just looking at photos in Windows Explorer.

What the fuck is wrong with this ridiculous software? I know my PC is a few years old, but it has plenty of memory and plenty of power - more than enough to run iTunes.

Can someone please help me find a way to use my iPod without using iTunes? If it's not possible then this will be the first and only iPod I ever own. Cocks.

Enviro-Psychos

The Royal Society is calling for "geological engineering" to help solve the non-existent global warming "crisis". This involves filling the atmosphere with millions of tonnes of sulphur particles, which would be the equivalent of setting off hundreds of volcanos across the planet. They say that this could be the "only way" to keep global temperatures down.

These idiots want to kill us all! For the love of God, volcanic gases would destroy the ozone layer and block out the sun, killing all the plants (that need sunlight to live) and the atmosphere to fill with CO2 (which plants absorb). The massive drop in temperatures would kill the vast majority of the species on the planet, including man, and the survivors would probably suffocate from a combination of sulphur and CO2 poisoning. As the CO2 levels rise, global warming will accelerate and eventually we will be left with an atmosphere comparable to that of Venus. What kind of FUCKWITT can honestly believe that this is a good idea? Jesus!

As more and more people stop listening to them, the global warming fools become more and more apocalyptic in their predictions. Now they're actually seeking to bring that apocalypse themselves...